Tim and I decided we needed to start a two-person book club to hold each other accountable to expanding our minds by imbibing more books than martinis (truthfully, he did not agree to the latter, and nor did I). This whole thing started because I bought him Blackouts for Christmas and since then, it’s been on the table collecting cat butt hair.
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Tim is one of my very best friends, and Patryk’s husband. Regardless of his spousal choice, I do think Tim is smart, so I was excited to hear what he was considering for our first read! He chose On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan, published in 2007. It’s a short book, but we opted for the 4 hour audiobook from the Libby App. Ironically, as a person who wants to be paid for writing, I do love me some free books–especially audio! AUDIOBOOKS IN THIS ECONOMY? GIRL.
On the surface, it’s a story about two virgins, a beach, and a pubic hair, but look a little deeper and you realize it’s about a horny man whose wife refuses to bang him. It takes place over one evening in 1962 at a hotel on the Dorset Coast. Newly married Edward and Florence are nervously anticipating the consummation of their marriage, but things quickly turn to shit. There is a lot about things unsaid or misunderstood. Who knew the key to a good marriage might be communication?
Me: Why did you pick this book?
Tim: I read it when it first came out, when I think I was probably around the age of the two main characters, and it has maintained an odd relevance in my life ever since. In my memory, the book captured the sad, terrible consequences of failing to communicate, and of trying to accommodate your assumptions about what someone else wants and feels. At 22, it felt like a warning, and so it pops into my head from time to time.
Me: Having someone spooge on your thigh could feel like an act of humiliation or a sweet gift. It’s like a cat dropping off a dead mouse - is this a warning or is it love? To your point, it really is about communication and understanding your partner. These two clearly didn’t know anything about their partner or themselves, especially desire. I admired McEwan’s ability to tell us so much in such a small time frame.
Tim: There’s a real efficiency to McEwan’s writing, the kind you expect from a short story. It’s discursive too–there’s a To the Lighthouse feel to it–but with intentionality. Though I was probably more focused on McEwan’s speaking style. This was my first ever audiobook, so some of the tropes are all new to me, like the random cello playing between chapters. I found myself laughing at some of it. Am I really supposed to keep a straight face when this old British guy starts talking about “arriving too soon”?
Me: It felt kind of silly to hear his elegant speaking style while referencing erections and panties. I’ve listened to a lot of audiobooks and this might be the first with the cello, but let’s talk about Edward. What were your impressions of him and did you also find him to be kind of a dick or just an idiot manchild?
Tim: Idiot manchild. A manchild with silly interests. No one wants to hear about your history of medieval cults, Edward - except maybe you, Elizabeth.
Me: I’m very proud of that, thank you! Who doesn’t love the Catholic church?! I loved Florence, who is not a typical young woman from the 60s. She’s not interested in marriage, working, or much of anything outside of herself, she just wants to be left alone to play music. Why do you think that time period was so important to the story?
Tim: I feel like the importance of space and time fluctuates throughout the book. Edward and Florence meet in part because of their shared interest in nuclear non-proliferation, and there’s a fair amount of political discussion. There’s anEnglishness to everyone’s sensibilities. The story is grounded in a specific spot. All of that slips from importance on the wedding night, which could have happened in 1860 as easily as 1960. While the pacing of that scene is snail-like, we later get Edward’s whole future condensed into just a few pages. For Florence, though, I think she’d be a lot happier if she were more typical of the time period. She needs to watch Grease, put on some leather pants and have a “You’re The One That I Want” moment.
Me: I read later that I was supposed to know that Florence was molested by her father, but I’m not sure how I was supposed to know that? It’s possible that I focused too hard on the pubic hair scene. Did you get that and how?
Tim: You’ve really got me thinking about this pubic hair, now! Do you think it's a reference to the strings of her violin? That she’s able to master one instrument but afraid to touch her own? Back to molestation … I agree that this part of her backstory isn’t telegraphed. I feel like it’s one of those things the author invented to help him shape Florence into a real character without really letting us in on the secret. It’s like when She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named said that Dumbledore was gay.
Me: Let’s revisit the pubic hair scene for our readers. Florence and Edward are in the midst of fooling around when Edward finds one stray pubic hair extending out of Florence’s panties. He moves his finger on it over and over again while Florence goes mad with explosive feelings, but also feels confused about it. I could not believe how long McEwan sat in this scene, but I think that’s what’s great about his writing! His descriptions of very normal boring things like the inside of a nostril were visceral.
Tim: Christopher Walken wants more cowbell, but Elizabeth Gomez wants more pubic hair! That part of the narrative actually makes me sad. She experiences a real frisson of excitement, and it suggests she could actually enjoy physical intimacy. But later she’s pretty convinced that sex is disgusting and that she could live her whole life without it. It’s really such a shame that Edward’s so terrible in bed.
Me: So awful! There were definitely sex books around then, Edward! As I was reading, I also am curious why the setting of the beach was so important?
Tim: The flinty stones of Chesil Beach are the pubic hair of the ocean.
Me: Makes sense– and inspires my next tattoo.
Tim: What did you make of Edward’s mother and her mental difficulties following her injury?
Me: I think I texted you immediately when I got to that part! I was shocked by the choice of how she gets injured, but I’m not sure why. I think we needed to understand Edward’s deep desire to be connected to someone and to feel loved. Having a mother who wasn’t able to build a deep connection with him seemed to also lay the groundwork of his outrage when he also couldn’t connect to Florence or any other woman after.
Tim: I like the contrast between Edward’s family life and Florence’s. Edward’s father is the picture of devotion, caring for his unwell wife and accepting that “in sickness and in health” can be a vow with bite. But Florence’s mother is condescending and never shows affection to her children. It’s really she who is the “frigid” one–Edward directed his insult at the wrong character!
Me: Do you think that the message of this book was to re-emphasize that straight men are terrible in the bedroom or that one should masturbate prior to your first time so you don’t come too early?
Tim: It’s true. And if she had pegged him, none of this would have happened.
Me: Since this is your second read of it, would you recommend it again - why or why not?
Tim: I do. Naturally, my experience of the book this time around is quite different, though. I remember thinking that Florence and Edward’s sexual dysfunction was about more than just sex. I was quicker to see in their story a more general tale of inadequacy and the power of things unsaid, whereas now I’m more inclined to embrace the literal meaning. That is, as a younger reader, I of course thought that the book was about me and what it could say to me, whereas now I’m content to let the book be about Florence and Edward. Anyway, even on a second read after twenty years of additional lived experience, I still enjoyed the book and drew from it all the satisfactions that come with good literature.
Me: That’s the right take as a mature and smart person, but once I hear about arriving too soon and hardening members, I revert to being a 14-year-old boy. I'm so embarrassing - just ask my kids.
OBSESSED
Listening: Right before leaving for Umma’s over Mother’s Day, I entered my disco era and Candi Staton’s song Young Hearts Run Free has me LIVIN’! Watch the video and then make this shirt for me.
Streaming: I’m back on my Law & Order SVU bullshit. They just ended their 25th season finale and I haven’t seen it and I don’t want to! I love watching it out of order because some of the things they say are insane looking back 25 years later.
Reading: I’m listening to Demon Copperhead on Spotify, which gives you up to 15 months of free listening if you have premium! I’m not sure where the story is going but so far I am loving it!
Obsessing: KYLE FAIR - a fair dedicated to gathering all Kyles into one spot.
Patryk’s Gripe Corner
My bestie Patryk asked if he could have a corner of my newsletter for griping. I’m obsessed with Patryk’s need to improve everything. He blames it on his Polish culture but, I think it’s his love of dissatisfaction.
I don’t get soup crackers. Why put low quality processed bread into a warm tasty broth?. I get that dipping bread into soup has been around since the dinosaurs. But why did Americans decide to downgrade to this version?. The depression was a century ago.
15 hours free listening 🙂
As a published and royalty-collecting author with a book that is highly pirated and part of the Authors Guild lawsuit against OpenAI, I want to assure you that it is fine to get books from the library. Libraries buy books and support authors! Libby FTW! Way, way better than piracy.